User avatar
By norton
#489882
I am reading a book on Anti-gravity. I just can't put it down!
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Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
User avatar
By Phaedrus
#489883
I always liked this one from Chichi:

Men are like a fine wine... they begin as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the sh!t out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have with dinner.
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By norton
#489884
Class trip to the Coca Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
User avatar
By Phaedrus
#489886
Ok. Don't cheat, read the story:

In Norristown we have the Elmwood Park Zoo. We have a sea world attached with some dolphins that have the unique capability of living forever, if they are fed a special diet that includes seagulls from the Jersey Shore.

Once a week, the park manager goes down the Shore to trap and bag some seagulls. Last week, while he was away, the last remaining lion escaped. It was a tired old cat and only made it to the manager's house outside the zoo and went to sleep on the front porch.

When the manager returned carrying the bag of birds he saw all this police commotion around his house and the lion asleep blocking his front door. He had to get the birds into the freezer, so he quickly went up his stairs, through the door, and was promptly arrested.

The charge?
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Carrying gulls over the staid lion for immortal porpoises.
User avatar
By norton
#489888
Had a business associate from the Czech Republic here for a visit last year. He wanted to go to the Philadelphia Zoo so we went on a Tuesday morning.
I did not know him well but he had no fear it seems . He climbed carefully into the Lion display pen and was killed and eaten immediately by a heavily maned animal.
Security and police arrived on the scene promptly and we told them the "Czech's in the Male".
User avatar
By norton
#489902
"I wondered why the base ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!"
User avatar
By norton
#489931
--"I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me."









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User avatar
By norton
#489965
What do they call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
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A Thesaurus
User avatar
By norton
#489982
"I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then, it dawned on me"






- Remember folks--Never in the history of the world has a powerful central government been the friend of the common man.
----And,,, That is just what the Leftist is striving for.... :-( --